A New Beginning

Today was a good day.  Today was a hard day.  Today was a new beginning.  This is Megyn's mom by the way. 

Today we dropped miss Megyn off at the MTC.  Last night she was set apart as a full time missionary for the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Later Day Saints. 

I cried a little, its ok, so did she.  We spent the last evening with our family, doing what we do best, eating ice cream and laughing.

But this is not about me, it is still Megyn's blog.  She asked me to keep it updated.  I will try but its been almost a year since I put anything on my own blogs. I am going to try and post her emails and news here so that those who want to keep up with what she is doing will be able to. I don't spell well and I don't write near as well as she does so  we will see how it goes.

For today, I just want the world to know, my daughter, Megyn is a sister missionary and I LOVE HER!!!

My Boat

Eleven days!!!! 11 days!!! In eleven days I will be sitting in our cute family mini van driving away for the MTC to serve the lord for eighteen months. The closer it gets the more intense my emotions become. I am scared, excited, nervous, anxious, sad, and extremely happy!!! I am afraid of what I will miss. I am afraid of not hearing my parents voice for eighteen months except at Christmas and on mothers day. I am afraid of missing Aryn's wedding. I am afraid of missing Tyson's first prom. I am afraid of missing Jennifer growing into a women, I am afraid of not being home when Rachel comes home from college for her first time and witnessing how much she has changed. I am afraid of not being here when my first niece or nephew enters the world ( neither Tia or Brittney are pregnant do not get excited) I am afraid of missing Nicholle's graduation, I am afraid of not being at school and not being able to build more memories with Brittney, Kaley, or Patrick. I am afraid of missing Tadja and Parker, what if they have a baby while I am gone??? I am afraid of missing my bossom friend Nicole . For two years she has been the very person I tell everything to, I can't describe how frightened I am of not having her with me everyday. 

At times all of these fears and many others become so overwhelming I almost pull the plug on the whole thing. I am not strong enough to live in a strange humid place where I don' know anyone one for a year and a half. To say I am afraid is an understatement. 

" The lord commanded Nephi to go an build a boat" I have been asked to build a boat. Many could say it was my choice and I do not have to go. They are correct it is my choice and I don't have to go. However I have felt the lord ask me to serve and I have heard his promise that I would be blessed for my efforts and service. I am afraid of this boat I have been asked to build, I am however more than anything else excited. I am excited and thrilled to live in a strange humid place with people I don't know. I am ecstatic to work the hardest I have ever worked. I am so beyond excited to live closer to the lord then I ever have and witness first hand his countless miracles as he blesses the people of Virginia. I am not strong enough to take on this adventure on my own. However with my father in heaven and my savior I am strong enough to conquer the world. With them I can build any boat and take on any adventure. 

Life has not slowed down since the grand opening of the mission!! I am starting to wonder if there is enough time to get everything done ( I can only imagine how my poor parents feel). One thing that has helped a million times over has been the opportunity to go to the temple. I had the opportunity to go through for the first time about three weeks ago and it was the most amazing experience of my life!!! It is so great to take a break from all the shopping, working, and craziness to spend time in the lords house. I love the temple and I am so grateful we have so many temples so close.
I am getting more and more excited to serve a mission. After hours and weeks of shopping we are pretty much done clothes shopping. We have pretty much hit up every store within the state of Utah ( at least that is what it feels like) I NEVER thought I would say this, but I am sick of shopping!!!! I love spending the time with my mother and surprisingly we have agreed on ALMOST all of my outfits. However I am glad the shopping part is almost over. I am getting anxious to leave. I cannot wait to serve in the MTC. I cannot wait to wake up everyday at 6:30 instead of 4:00. I cannot wait to meet my companions. I am so excited for the next eighteen months!!
I am going to miss my family so so so much. but hey eighteen months is not that long and we will be reunited before you know it!!!!

I hope they call me on a mission....oh wait they did!!!!!! :):)

It has finally happened!!! After all of the shots, freak outs, frustrations, and prayers I have received my mission call!!!!!
I have been called to serve in the Richmond Virginia Mission!!!!! :):):)
While preparing to serve a mission I had a feeling that I would be called to serve in state, "well dang it" was my first response. I want to go somewhere cool!!! When I was asked where I wanted to go I would explain that a mission is a mission and I was happy to serve; I think I was trying to convince myself more than anyone else. I had just left the worlds greatest job at the worlds greatest university to serve and I wanted it to be worth it.
My mission has the potential to be the greatest thing I will ever do, that has nothing to do with where I serve, but how I serve.
The Sunday before I opened my call I had the opportunity to attend a homecoming. I did not know the sister, but her words touched me. The lord reminded me that the gospel is meant to be shared with all of his children whether they live in a "cool" place or not. It was selfish of me to only want to serve Foreign or in a great big city. The lord loves all of his children and I have been blessed to grow up in an environment where I learned and gained a testimony of this gospel, it is my responsibility to share this knowledge and love with others, regardless of where they live.
With that being I am beyond excited to serve in Richmond Virginia!!!!! I already love this place and I have never even been there!!!
I am excited and scared that my call date is so soon!!! While back at school I had a conversation with my fantastic boss, I told her I want to serve sooner rather then later. We had a great conversation about serving in state, my reason for wanting to leave ASAP, and the great blessings of a mission. After opening my call I knew the lord was listening in on that conversations, and my Boss was a truly inspired person. I had never really prayed to leave earlier, because I knew the lord would take me when he needed me. However I am so grateful that he knew my worries, fears, and anxiousness to serve.
I AM A MISSIONARY FOR THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER DAY SAINTS!!!'AHHH!!!!!!
This is really happening and I could not be more scared or excited!!!!!
Get ready Richmond Virginia I am on my way!!! :):):)

I am excited for forever :):)

Today I was in my kitchen making brownies and as I licked the spoon I was reminded of the time my roommates and I mixed the brownie batter and ate just the batter for days. :):):)
I miss it, I miss all of it. I miss my gorgeous roommates who drove me crazy, made me smile and laugh, and who became my family. I miss going to class instead of work. I miss the cute boy who stole my heart. I miss the mentors who worked with SANS. I miss the best RA's and coworkers. I miss the two best bosses anyone could ever have. I miss the residents who stressed me out, who I loved, and who I had a blast with. I miss College!!!!!! I had the two best years of my life and saying goodbye is extremely hard.
With that being said I am beyond excited for what comes next. I am overly excited and scared to serve a mission. I am ecstatic to fall in love again and again and start a family; a family I will be with forever.
I have been molded and shaped in the past two years into the person that I am. However I am not done, I will continue to change and grow. Both of which scare me immensely. I am terrified of change; however I said the same thing when I left high school and my life has only improved since then.
" Come what may and love it" right?
My dear best friend has just been married in the temple. :):):) I cannot express my excitement for her. My two older sisters just bought a house. Rachel and Tyson are both working for their first jobs, and Miss Jenna joe is trying out for dance company. People change, life goes on and usually it is for the better.
I am excited for forever :):):)

I believe in miracles

I believe in miracles, I believe in love, and I believe in Happiness.

I am grateful it is not my choice.

I am saddened by what the world has come to, by what we have let it become. I mean no disrespect to any individual or community, however before you read on I will warn you that you may not agree with what I say. I believe in freedom. I believe that every individual has the right to make their own decisions and answer to the consequences of those decisions  I believe the war in heaven was real, I believe that our savior fought along side us for our agency. With that being said I believe that marriage is a sacred ordinance between a man and a women, and with our heavenly father. It would seem to most that my two beliefs are extremely contradictory  which is why I am grateful that marriage equality is not my choice. It is not my chose because it is not my place to make a decision that will affect countless others.
I may not understand why our heavenly father has commanded that a man and a woman join together in marriage. I however to understand that my father in heaven is perfect. He is all knowing, and he is kind and loving. I also know that our father in heaven would never give us a commandment that we can not fulfill. He knows what is in our hearts because he is the creator of them.
our bodies were created in his image, just as a man is suppose to love a women, all humans are suppose to have two arms and two legs. We are all aware however that this is most defiantly not the case. We all have trails that we must overcome, Heavenly father has blessed us with our trails that we may learn in this life and grow closer to him.
With that being said I believe the greatest trail we must all overcome is the judgment we throw at one another. We understand that god has commanded a man and a women to be married, however what we do not understand is that not everyone has had the same convictions that we have had. Others do not understand why marriage is sacred for a man and a women; this is does not make them evil or wrong, it just makes them different. We believe that we will be held accountable for what we know to be true. We know that marriage is sacred, not everyone has this knowledge, they will be judged for the knowledge they do have. We also know that all of gods children are equal and should be treated with love and respect. ALL of his children. Just as our savior suffered for each of us, he also suffered for homosexual individuals  He sat with them as they struggled through their decisions, he held them while they were mocked and scorned, he wiped their tears, and he loves them. Why would anyone chose such a life, why would anyone chose to be scorned and mocked? I have meant countless individuals who have been told they have a disease and that a doctor, a therapist, or some sort of special tea will "cure" them. this is not the case!!! the power of god is the only thing that will bring them comfort. I did not say it will heal them. They were given this trail and if they endure it well great shall be their reward. It is the same as it is with any burden or trail the rest of us carry.  Our savior felt their pain, and he loves them, just as we should. Homosexual individuals are not evil, bad, or corrupt. They are fantastic individuals with sweet sweet spirits who have made a different choice then us, and they have all the same rights as anyone else. We will never understand gods reasoning. We are not god.  God has demanded that we love all of his children. We are not to judge others for their decisions. Disrespect toward the gay community is unacceptable. We are to love everyone. All of us sin, our right to do so is not being debated in the supreme court, so we somehow feel that makes us greater than them, It does not.
Equal marriage rights may pass.
 I promise that no matter the decision made in the supreme court God will never leave any of his children in darkness. He promised that the holly ghost may always be with us if we live righteously, not if the world does. All we have to do is worry about us, teach our children about their loving father in heaven, and love one another. The choices of others are not our concern. I will never understand the emotions of another individual therefore I do not get to judge them. I get to love them.
I recommend that everyone visit them website  http://www.mormonsandgays.org/ It is a fantastic website where apostles and LDS. individuals who have struggled with same sex attraction discuss their love of god and share their personal experiences.

I choose to win

My heart is full today and I am not exactly sure what to say. This has been one of the most testing and trying weeks of my life. I didn't know if I was strong enough to make it through this trail. However I have learned a lot this week. I have learned that people are entirely and absolutely good; we as a species may be entirely selfish and self-consumed, however in the face of tragedy( or at least what feels like it) individuals are able to put themselves aside and help a friend in need. Every man carries with them the light of Christ and it shines through in the face of adversity.  I will never forget the friends I have or the sacrifices they have made for me. I have learned that I am stronger than I ever thought I could be. I have learned just as I have time and time before that my father in heaven loves me, he will carry me every step of the way and will never leave me in darkness.

I cannot say I didn't bring this upon myself I knew exactly how this would have to end, but as a friend once told me “I couldn't not take the chance". It sounds cheesy, but my life has been changed and I wouldn't take back a single moment or a single lesson I learned through this experience.

It has been a hard month. Facebook feels like the pit of despair with one tragic post after another.  I have found several of my friends with their heart and their spirit broken.  I have caught myself wishing I could offer comfort, however there was/ is nothing I can to heal their hurt or improve the situation. I guess that is not my job. Just as I cannot struggle through my own trails alone I cannot fix the trails of others.

“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”

I promise that our father in heaven loves his children. We will never be alone. I understand that life can be hard; losing sucks, losing anything, a loved one, a relationship, a friendship .Our father in heaven will make all of this up. We have the opportunity to choose not to lose. God is going to win. Our savior gave his life and because of his sacrifice we never have to be alone again. God is going to win; we simply have to choose to be on his side. I understand that this decision may not be as easy as it sounds. However I know that our father in heaven loves us, is aware of our struggles, and is aware of our pain. This is why he allowed his precious begotten son to suffer on the cross; for you and me. Our savior went through every possible amount of pain we can conceive and then some. It was not in vain. I will not waste his atonement.

God is going to win!!!! We are going to win, and every ounce of pain will be made up. Today I choose to stand with my father in heaven. I choose an eternal family, I choose to serve a mission for the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints, and I choose to be happy. 

A Life To Remember

I was going to start off by saying, what a crazy couple of weeks, but I realized that is just about how all of my posts start. I guess I just live one crazy life!

Well for those of you who may have missed the news My best friend since the premortal life is engaged! Her finance Parker is the sweetest, greatest, and most fantastic person. I could not have picked two individuals more perfect for one another. Tadja Potter has changed my life. I can honestly say I would not be the same person had she not blessed my life. When we were both younger I would come home from a weekend at her house, I would want to be cleaner and have more pink decorations just like her. I would want to take better care of my toys and clothes so they could be as nice as hers. However as I grew older and would return from her house I would still want to change to be just like her, but I wanted, I want, to be more spiritual  more involved in this wonderful gospel, more patient, more righteous, more like this amazing spirit god has blessed me with. I do not know what I did to be so lucky as to deserve a best friend like her, but I am grateful everyday that she has been here to influence my life. 

We spent the weekend wedding planning and dress shopping, as I sat on the train I had the startling realization that this is the last time it is ever going to be like this. Our lives are changing forever. while growing up we all made plans of our future lives that included each other. while we will always love each other and we will always be close, everything is going to change. Tadja potter is getting married MARRIED! I am headed off to who knows where to serve the lord for eighteen months and Nicole has her whole life ahead of her, if anyone is going to make a difference in this world it is going to be her. I have never meant another individual who feels so deeply, who loves so much, and who has such a tender heart. Our lives are changing and just as they should, our plans do not revolve around one another anymore. After this summer it is all going to change. It is exciting and scary all at the same time! sometimes when life gets stressful I like to think back to days spent in the sun playing dress up and eating Popsicle with tadja or nights spent at Nicole's house laughing and giggling for what felt like eternity. 

I hate change, it scares and excites me all at once. we spent our childhood planning these days, waiting non to patiently, to find our prince charming and running off into the sunset. Do not get me wrong i love my life, i have been so blessed and i could not be happier, but as I sit here living the exact moments we would dream about I cannot help but miss the memory of it all. 

Life is funny like that. We are never fully satisfied with where we are. I always want what I do not have. Last year at this time I wanted to be an RA more than anything, and now I want more than anything. I forget that although time is not money I can waste it and blow it, just like money, on trivial shallow experiences. I want my life to be something remembered. I want more than anything to make a difference, I want someone to hear my name and smile. 

My goal today is to make a difference, to make a memory. 

Called to serve

General Conference 2012 Saturday morning session changed my life. i had always planned on going on a mission, it had been a part of my life plan since my junior year in high school. however when i came to college so many other worldly honorable opportunities had presented themselves. i finally found a job that i love at a university i had fallen in love with. there was so much that i wanted to do, i wasn't ready to give up on this path yet. just the night before general conference i told my mother i was thinking about postponing a mission to later or never. my mother lovingly did not judge me she told me it was my decision and it was between me and the lord. like most decisions i hadn't even asked my father in heaven what i should do, i took maters into my own hands without any guidance from he who knows me best.
the next morning as i walked into the conference center Jennifer and i were discussing the idea that both of us wanted to serve missions however i was still unsure. let me stop right now and tell you how grateful i am for a father in heaven who knows and loves his children, a father in heaven who takes an interest in a twenty year old girls life. let me bare my testimony that i know my father in heaven loves me and that he is looking out for me. i know without a doubt that he LOVES ME!! That Saturday morning my father in heaven reminded me of where i needed to be and what i needed to be. sitting in the conference center it felt like the prophet looked right at me and in the words "19 year old young women can serve missions" he said to me "Megyn this work and this gospel is the most important thing you will ever do, our heavenly father loves you he needs you, and you for yourself need to serve a mission"
i feel ashamed to admit that i had become like Paul  i had seen the savior i had felt his spirit and i knew the truth of his gospel and i knew without a shadow of a doubt the importance of his mission, his atonement and my role in his gospel. i too unfortunetly left to go fishing. i spent my time worrying about things that were unimportant  best friends i missed talking to, essay that needed to be written, money that i didn't have. in this conference the lord said to me, Megyn isn't it clear that while all of this is important to you so therefor it is important to me, this is not what i need you to be doing this is not were i need your focus. why are you here? why did i send you here? my gospel is the most important thing, the best gift i could give to this world and i have allowed you to be raised in it, i have blessed you with the knowledge that i will never leave you, how could you be so selfish and not share it with those around you?
so here i sit on a Sunday afternoon sharing with you the experience that changed my life. i Megyn Chantelle Rushton have been called to serve a mission. a mission i have been called to since birth, serve his children, share his gospel live my life as his example and dedicate my life to him.  i plan on serving a mission for my savior for a year and a half in some land i do not know with people i never met. i however i am serving a mission right now, a mission i will continue to serve long after my mission. i am a child of good who has been blessed with a knowledge of who i am and who he is. it is my mission to live this truth and share it with his children

sometimes you are a woo girl

I don't know how many of you have ever watched the TV show how I met your mother #bestshowever. Well at one point in the show one of the main characters Robin makes friends with the singles girls at Lilly's work. The girls are loud obnoxious and.........woooie. Lily, who has a great career and is married to the dorkiest cutest man ever, doesn't understand her single friends, Robin explains that she is single, jobless, and clueless as to where her life is going. She can't always have it together, sometimes she needs to woo.

Sometimes I think my forehead has wooed girl stamped across it. I have thought about changing my major at least three times in the last week, something I swore I would never do. The next year of my life is a mystery; stay here and continue being an RA, stay here and run for RHA president, go on a mission, stay here and volunteer with casa and work with children who are abused; my life is one giant mess of possibilities. I was dang certain I had my life planned out, guess who was 100% wrong? This girl. Sometimes it's exciting, sometimes it' stressful. What is the antidote you may ask, wooing. I however woo differently than robin. I don't take my single friends to bars downing shots, checking out single men and shouting woo at every possibility. I live I love I laugh I cry. I love where I am I love all of the possibilities harshly thrown in my face (more possibility’s, what if I live in Fiji for the summer) growing up I believed my life had two possibility's; go to college get married have babies. Or go to college go on a mission get married have babies. Those are still two real possibilities and no matter what I want right now, I have always wanted to be a mother. But what happens in between? If you read between the lines of my story what is there, what does my life imply, what is it to become, what will my legend be? I can tell you what’s between the lines right now; a poor college student who love her life, her friends, her heavenly father and herself.  This has been the best year of my life. Who says that woo girls can't have fun or meaning in their life? Well whoever says it is wrong. My name is Megyn (hi Megyn) Rushton and I am a woo girl.  

this is me

What a crazy couple of weeks it has been. this has probably been the most stressful challenging month of my life, and i have loved every second of it. my job is the best. i never could have ever imagined how hard it would be, or how strong I am. My weaknesses, bad habits, and insecurities have all been brought to the surface in just this past week. each have had to been dealt with and overcome. i love this job that pushes me to be what i have always wanted to be and forced me to take a good hard look at myself. i never could have imagined what this job would do for me, and in the first week already!! That’s not to say it hasn't been hard, or that i haven't had my fair share of breakdowns in the past week, but it has made me stronger for sure. i love all of my residents and my coworkers, both have pushed non to gently for me to take responsibility for my actions. I LOVE THIS JOB!!!!! 

i feel like most of my life i have been told who to be or who not to be, what i can or cannot do. not because others were crude and wanted to control me, but because i let them. Well allow me to tell you who and what i am. i am a strong courageous young women who can overcome any obstacle put in my way. i am me. i am silly sometimes immature, caring, I worry too much and i love with all my heart. i am a daughter of god who can do anything!!!!

oh man that is a lot to learn in the first week of school. 

!

wow what a couple of crazy stressful weeks it has been!!! i love my job!!!!! being an RA is a blast!!!! i couldn't ask for a better job with better coworkers. training was hard and grueling, move ins were crazy,but  this job is the best.
i love the priesthood!!!!!! life saving moments!!! so i was super stressed about RA, money, school, money, and money. two amazing young priesthood holders came over last night to give a scared stressed little girl some comfort.
i love roommates!! after the blessing i was telling my roommate a story of a princess a prince and a dragon, and all the potential trivial life threatening issues in my life. the sweet roommate reminded me of my blessing and that my heavenly father loves me and that he knows what he is doing, i just need to trust in him and give my life to him and he will take care of me.
 it's official!!!!! yesterday at church the bishopric passed around the annual pink paper asking for our records and information. the first box i noticed asked if i had been on a mission, of course i marked no. the next bo however is an entirely different more exciting story. the question? are you preparing for a mission? i excitedly marked yes. it's official i am preparing to serve a mission for the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints!!!! i can't go for at least a year, but i am going!!!!!

my best friends mission

I hate mission. there i said it. Now let me take it back. i love missions and i think they are the most wonderful thing. i hate goodbyes. this summer i have attended my own ward a total of three times because of all the missionary farewells i have been to. at the begging it was so much fun watching my friends go out and serve, change lives along with their own. however the more farewells i went to the harder it got. so many of my friends were leaving. the last farewell was the hardest. this boy was amazing. he was already such a great missionary here in our little old town, he changed so many lives mine included. i went to his farewell heartbroken that it was the last time i would see him, but it wasn't. Monday four  of us went over to his house to say our last goodbyes. i watched him give an amazing blessing hugged him goodbye and walked away. none of us were all that good at goodbye's. we hugged we cried and we hugged some More until Finlay he had to walk into the house and i watched his empty porch as we drove away.
this is one of my many "my best friends wedding moments" (SPOILER ALERT) in this movie the main character wastes the whole movie away planning how to break up her best friends wedding stealing him for herself. the movie is filled with plots and schemes and Finlay at the end she watches her best friend walk away hand in hand with his new wife. i have lots of moments were i plan some earth shattering speech just to be the only audience member. this is what happened when i told my friend goodbye. it was nothing romantic but  wanted to let him know how amazing he was, how much he changed my life, that if anyone of us was going to save this world and bring the gospel of Christ to his people that it would be him. i wanted to say this and so much more, but all i could choke out was "see you into"
a week latter a friend of mine invited me to a missionary discussion. since i have been a member since birth i have never actually sat in on a real missionary discussion. i watched this young boy teach to these two individuals who already knew so much about the gospel, but had just struggled getting back into it. i have never felt the spirit so strongly before. it was a lesson i had learned every Sunday, a topic i had deemed as primary easy. it wasn't the young mans message i needed to hear but to feel his spirit. he strengthened my testimony on one small little concept i thought i grasped. however more than that he strengthed my testimony of missionary work. how selfish was i to be so heartbroken over so many of my friends leaving. they are going to change lives. i have a testimony of missionary work. i can't put into words how grateful i am for it, or as to how powerful i know it can be. what an amazing gospel we have been blessed with. these young men are completely selfless to give up two years of their life to share it with those who don't know about this amazing gift. i love missionary's and missions.

Perspective

wow what a summer it has been already. let me be the first to say that this summer is not what i thought it would be. it has been one interesting adventure to say the least. when i left school i knew that i had to come home and work so that i could come back for school and pay for it on my own so when i got a job right off the bat i was super grateful. this is what i needed, this is what i had prayed so hard for the last year. i wanted to be able to talk about my boss or going to work, i needed this. so why was i so miserable? i hated being one of those mcworkers i hated riding the bus with some of the weirdest people in this town. this lifestyle made me so sad, i felt sad for the individuals stuck here and depressed at the thought of being stuck myself. i missed my college friends and my life. it wasn't until i finally started to actually listen to my coworkers to tell their life stories that i had a serious wake up call. who am i to judge these individuals? who is this 19 year old,naive selfish brat that i have become. i have lived such a life of pleasure and when one thing happens that i don't like i throw a fit. i don't believe i have ever faced a serious trial in my life, the lord has blessed me so much and when he continues to bless me i complain because it was not high class enough of a blessing. no matter how much i needed this money i needed this experience much more. i have learned so much about those individuals i use to judge. these individuals may live a different life than i do but that doesn't make it wrong it just makes it different. i wonder what it actually feels like to feel totally alone and responsible for everything that you do, to honestly believe that there is no one else out there to take care of you or look out for you. I have been blessed with such great parents who take such could care of me, but even better than that i have such a wonderful father in heaven who blesses my life so much. we all have that same father in heaven that i call to twenty million times a day like :please help me find my bus pass" and he always answers, i can't even begin to fathom not knowing that he is there to help me. i can't imagine doing this on my own. how strong does an individual have to be to wake up in this horrible world believing that no one cares for their happiness but themselves, to wake up alone. as i have gotten to know my coworkers i have began to care for them, and my job has actually become fun. our perspective controls our attitude, if we are unhappy we must change our perspective on the situation. it's not easy, but nether is life. what is our life worth though if we never work for anything, if we never stumble or completely fail. experience is what makes a person. if we don't go out and live our own lives what our they worth?

Summer time.....i'm Lovin' it :):):)

walks.butterflies,daydreams.work,family,friends,water,sunshine,and a whole lot of fun!!! i can hardly wait for this summer! T's wedding is a short three weeks away, the scratched in date on calender is becoming a happily ever after. i miss my cedar friends like crazy, but i am loving being home, my family are some of the funniest people on earth. the other night at family home evening our family was playing a card game where the winner had to collect all cards from one suit. needless to say it was an amazingly long game. Tyson was extremely close to winning when Rachel (who was sitting next to him) picked up the card he needed. she had both five of diamonds in her hand and was particular to make sure Tyson was aware of this fact. she would flash around the cards and tease that poor little boy to no end. the five of diamonds has become the joke of the family every time Tyson declares " mom you know what i need?" Rachel quirky retorts " a five of diamonds" i missed these amazing individuals. Rachel is still the sassiest person i know and Tyson thinks he is a stud (he held nothing back when he informed the boy who was crushing on Rachel's best friend that she would never be interested in him because she could do much better) Jennifer is the worlds biggest stinker and yet there is no one i love More on this earth then these people. i am so blessed to spend an eternity with such amazing people.
lets not forget how amazing my friends are. it has been amazingly fun meeting back up with my magna friends and discovering where theirs lives took them this last year. they seem so different and yet still the same. they have Finlay convinced me to join the twitter world #iamajoiner we love to follow the gossipgirl of magna @Magnashoutouts. It's pretty dang funny and pathetic.
Tadja and Nicole are trying to convince me to join them in china for spring semester but i am still undecided, i am so excited to be an Ra and i didn't work as hard as i did to only do it for half a semester, but who knows where my life will head, this is not a decision i am ready to make on my own( good thing i don't have to, i have a loving father in heaven who will answer my prayers and lead me to where i need to be)
I finally got a job!!!!! it may be at McDonald's but hey it's a job. i have days where i don't particularly care for it and days where i love it. It's exciting growing up and taking care of myself. sometimes it's hard and you do things you don't really want to, but that is life.
I have loved being home for the summer, coming back to my roots, it has been a blast. so to sum up as always life is petty amazing and I'm lovin' it #iworkatmcdonaldsnowihavetousetherecatchphraseeverymomentofmylife. ;)

A Blessing From Heaven

Happy mothers day!! just a heads up today is going to be a sappy, cheese ball, make-you-cry-your-eyes-out kind of post. okay it probably will not make you cry your eyes out because what i am about to tell you everyone already knows. my mother is the most amazing woman in this world. seriously she is going to save this world. she is my hero,inspiration, and my best friend. i have never meant a more hard working individual than my mother. she is the kind of individual who puts her whole heart into what she does, her service has no end. she is constantly helping those around her and working her hardest to do all she can for those she cares for. she sacrifices all she has to be a good mother, wife, and friend. she is the definition of a righteous daughter in Zion. ( don't be fulled she is not perfect, although i can see how you would get that impression (;  ) i have been truly blessed to have such a strong sweet mother. i am who i am because of her. she has taught me more than any other person i know.

I love you mom!!!!!! :):):)

One year down a thousand to go.

as finals week quickly approaches (quickly sucking my desire to get anything done with it) i have done a lot of contemplating about this whole year and all i can say is it has been a total blast!!!!! i have had the time of my life this year. i still can't believe a year ago i was sitting on a beach(ish) with my student government family heart broken to leave the past in the past and scared to start this new future. i have thought a lot about my SBO family lately. i miss the time we spent together and the memories created. a year ago i posted on facebook that SUU had a lot to live up to, and it has indeed lived up to that. i have made friends for life and learned many life lessons ( including the fact that i am not a very good big spoon (;  ) i have learned so much about who i am. I didn't have the highest self confidence when i started college, i don't know what changed that exactly but i discovered that i like who i am, i am happy being me and i wouldn't want to be anyone else. after going to orientation with my mother she told me she was concerned about the influence this school would have on me and my testimony. i can honestly say that i was afraid too, not of SUU's influence but of myself. my testimony however has grown so much. i now have a why behind my testimony. i have learned to stand on my own and be my own person, for me that has been the greatest accomplishment of this year; learning who i am and loving it!!
last weekend the community attaches all went camping together. we sat around the camp fire talking about everything and anything. (seriously everything, we spent an hour sharing our embarrassing pee stories) It was such a blast!! the next morning we woke up early and went on the best hike of my life. i love these Ca's they are the cutest thing!!!!
when i was younger tadja showed me this song that i absolutely fell in love with.

it describes everything perfectly. i have had such a good life and i am so excited for it to get even better. i was so afraid of this adventure called college but it has turned into the best experience of my life and if i have learned anything it's this " i can do hard things" i am so much stronger than i thought i was, and for everything i cannot do i have a wonderful older brother who will take care of the rest so long as i ask and do my part. 

I am happy....... what is next?

my life is pretty epic, the end. I am so happy with where i am at, with the struggles i go through, with the friends i have, with the amazing family i have been blessed with, and with this amazing gospel i have the opportunity to be a part of. i was just accepted as a Resident Assistant for the school year 2012-2013. It was the longest, most grueling, most fun interview process of my life. i am so excited and all i can say is eccles C200 get ready for me to rock your world and an amazing housing experience. :):)
i am getting excited to come home for the summer. sister number one is finally getting married to the cutest man around. he treats her not like a princess but like a queen and an equal. he is kind and respectful and i can see the the love flooding out of his eyes when he looks at her. it's our fathers job to treat her, and the rest of his daughters like a princess, but we are not little girls any more,Especially  tia. she is a beautiful, talented, caring, and amazing young women. growing up i always wanted to be exactly like my older sister, i wanted to wear the clothes she wore, take the classes she was taking, go to the schools she went to, date boys like the ones she dated. tia is my hero and she proves that to me more and more everyday (but you can never tell her i said that or she will continue to boss me around, and i just can't have that (:  )
i am so happy..... so what comes next? what else happens after this happiness? trails, hurt, sadness, anger, and more happiness. i heard a great quote "happiness is an emotion, not a destination" we spend so much time focusing on when i am happy that we forget to be happy now. we forget to find happiness before we lose that 15 pounds, before we meet the love of our lives, before we buy a bigger house, before we have more money. why not be happy during these trails. if we keep searching for happiness, keep aiming for it instead of living it we will never be happy. i am happy now..... what is next/ more happiness a greater happiness :):):)

love, what is this crazy disease?

what a weekend, what a life. :):):) this weekend was one of bestest friends Nicole's birthday. on Friday we had a surprise birthday party for her. some great friends traveled all the way down to cute old cedar city and on Saturday we traveled to Vegas. it was a great weekend. it was so good to see all of my dear friends again and have their influence in my life for a day. two of my friends tadja and Amanda are both waiting for missionary's, they are hopelessly in love, proud of the one they love and heart broken at their absence. i listened to both young women talk about the love of their lives with such emotion. what is this crazy disease? what is this emotion that causes so many people to go crazy, to search their whole lives for, to wait two whole years for loved ones to return only to pick back up were they left off? i see it in the movies, i hear the world create music and add lyrics trying to describe this wonderful/horrible thing. i listen to the scholarly try to explain it, i read authors descriptions of impossible love story's, and i complain with and to friends concerning the absence of such beauty in our lives. it surrounds me, i see it in everything i look at. in my psychology class we discussed the idea that we truly don't NEED anything save the essentials to live , water, food, shelter, and some would argue love. why do we need love? the world has turned such a beautiful thing ugly and then they make us believe we are incompetent because we do not own it. as i walked the streets of Vegas i wondered how such a thing could even exist. there was so much disrespect for women and for love. love became a toy and lust became an acceptable substitute. how did we become this way? how did we allow ourselves to become so confused so lost. for the first time i finally understood what it meant to be in the world and not of it. the world has distorted our view, the world would have us believe that love isn't beautiful that sex isn't sacred. i am so grateful for the home i grew up in. last weekend i had the opportunity to go home for my sisters wedding. it was so beautiful. i was truly touched. it was amazing to watch this young girl become a women, to see her sealed for time and all eternity to the man she loved. this is what love is. my oldest sister is also getting married this summer to a wonderful man. i watch the way he treats her, the respect he has for her and the love that is in his heart. i am reminded that i can't search for real love in the world because it won't be there. lust is not love; a man loving a women and helping her through her imperfections is love, a vase that is never without a yellow flower is love. i always wanted to believe that love is easy, that's how my parents made it seem. never once have a seen them argue i watch them kiss and hug everyday and i bet they exchange the words "i love you" twenty times a day. but love isn't easy, you have to work for it everyday, but i bet that's what makes it stronger. i have never been in love but i look forward to the day that i am. i have had such great examples of love in my life and i can't wait for the day that it does. just because i am not in love doesn't mean i am without love. i have such an amazing family that i can't even imagine living an eternity without, i have such amazing friends that i love dearly, but the greatest love in my life comes from my savior. a man who gave his life for me, a man who went through every horror the world can comprehend because he love me. i know i write about my savior a lot but its because i have never been more sure of anything in my life and i know that when the day comes that i finally get to be in love that my savior will be a huge factor in our lives and our love.