I am happy....... what is next?

my life is pretty epic, the end. I am so happy with where i am at, with the struggles i go through, with the friends i have, with the amazing family i have been blessed with, and with this amazing gospel i have the opportunity to be a part of. i was just accepted as a Resident Assistant for the school year 2012-2013. It was the longest, most grueling, most fun interview process of my life. i am so excited and all i can say is eccles C200 get ready for me to rock your world and an amazing housing experience. :):)
i am getting excited to come home for the summer. sister number one is finally getting married to the cutest man around. he treats her not like a princess but like a queen and an equal. he is kind and respectful and i can see the the love flooding out of his eyes when he looks at her. it's our fathers job to treat her, and the rest of his daughters like a princess, but we are not little girls any more,Especially  tia. she is a beautiful, talented, caring, and amazing young women. growing up i always wanted to be exactly like my older sister, i wanted to wear the clothes she wore, take the classes she was taking, go to the schools she went to, date boys like the ones she dated. tia is my hero and she proves that to me more and more everyday (but you can never tell her i said that or she will continue to boss me around, and i just can't have that (:  )
i am so happy..... so what comes next? what else happens after this happiness? trails, hurt, sadness, anger, and more happiness. i heard a great quote "happiness is an emotion, not a destination" we spend so much time focusing on when i am happy that we forget to be happy now. we forget to find happiness before we lose that 15 pounds, before we meet the love of our lives, before we buy a bigger house, before we have more money. why not be happy during these trails. if we keep searching for happiness, keep aiming for it instead of living it we will never be happy. i am happy now..... what is next/ more happiness a greater happiness :):):)

love, what is this crazy disease?

what a weekend, what a life. :):):) this weekend was one of bestest friends Nicole's birthday. on Friday we had a surprise birthday party for her. some great friends traveled all the way down to cute old cedar city and on Saturday we traveled to Vegas. it was a great weekend. it was so good to see all of my dear friends again and have their influence in my life for a day. two of my friends tadja and Amanda are both waiting for missionary's, they are hopelessly in love, proud of the one they love and heart broken at their absence. i listened to both young women talk about the love of their lives with such emotion. what is this crazy disease? what is this emotion that causes so many people to go crazy, to search their whole lives for, to wait two whole years for loved ones to return only to pick back up were they left off? i see it in the movies, i hear the world create music and add lyrics trying to describe this wonderful/horrible thing. i listen to the scholarly try to explain it, i read authors descriptions of impossible love story's, and i complain with and to friends concerning the absence of such beauty in our lives. it surrounds me, i see it in everything i look at. in my psychology class we discussed the idea that we truly don't NEED anything save the essentials to live , water, food, shelter, and some would argue love. why do we need love? the world has turned such a beautiful thing ugly and then they make us believe we are incompetent because we do not own it. as i walked the streets of Vegas i wondered how such a thing could even exist. there was so much disrespect for women and for love. love became a toy and lust became an acceptable substitute. how did we become this way? how did we allow ourselves to become so confused so lost. for the first time i finally understood what it meant to be in the world and not of it. the world has distorted our view, the world would have us believe that love isn't beautiful that sex isn't sacred. i am so grateful for the home i grew up in. last weekend i had the opportunity to go home for my sisters wedding. it was so beautiful. i was truly touched. it was amazing to watch this young girl become a women, to see her sealed for time and all eternity to the man she loved. this is what love is. my oldest sister is also getting married this summer to a wonderful man. i watch the way he treats her, the respect he has for her and the love that is in his heart. i am reminded that i can't search for real love in the world because it won't be there. lust is not love; a man loving a women and helping her through her imperfections is love, a vase that is never without a yellow flower is love. i always wanted to believe that love is easy, that's how my parents made it seem. never once have a seen them argue i watch them kiss and hug everyday and i bet they exchange the words "i love you" twenty times a day. but love isn't easy, you have to work for it everyday, but i bet that's what makes it stronger. i have never been in love but i look forward to the day that i am. i have had such great examples of love in my life and i can't wait for the day that it does. just because i am not in love doesn't mean i am without love. i have such an amazing family that i can't even imagine living an eternity without, i have such amazing friends that i love dearly, but the greatest love in my life comes from my savior. a man who gave his life for me, a man who went through every horror the world can comprehend because he love me. i know i write about my savior a lot but its because i have never been more sure of anything in my life and i know that when the day comes that i finally get to be in love that my savior will be a huge factor in our lives and our love.

Life as we know it

What a crazy month it has been. bridal showers, engagements, classes, kisses, friends, and applications have all just been part of this busy wonderful life :):):)
First congrats to the best big sisters ever T and B are both well on their way to getting married, i think it has become more of a race between the two, with T winning the first engagement and B winning the first wedding ( they are both complaining but what do i get? (:) Last week was B's fun filled scandals bridal shower. i thought i was coming home to only one wedding-crazy sister but the night i arrived T was proposed to. what a crazy weekend. everyone always asks my mom how she is handling everything, but personally i love it!!!!!!! our family is growing older and growing in number. i love where we are as a family, it is hard being separated but these are the days i have waited so long for, for us to go grow together, for us to move on but remember we will always be together thanks to our wonderful parents and all the great sacrifices they made for us. this is life as we know it and i love it!!!!! :):)
college has been one party after another. the first week back i was thrown off a car by a soulless redhead. alright it might not have been entirely all her fault. my friend A and i were riding on the hood of her car but she decided to show off for the super cute boy and make a sudden turn forcing me off the car. thankfully two wonderful boys were willing to crawl out of their bed at three in the morning to give a stupid college student a blessing. i will always be grateful for the priesthood, i know its power is real and can change life as it has changed mine on many occasions.
at the beginning of the semester i moved into a new residents hall it was kind of weird. i have never ever before in my life been the new girl and at nineteen i finally had the opportunity. i love it here the people are amazing and the room is huge!!!!! my roommate is the cutest thing :):):)
i am in this psych class that i absolutely love ( that's right i have the best major ever be jealous). about a week ago we had a conversation concerning our future with the major and the careers we were all working toward. it sounds silly but i never planned on actually getting a full degree from a college. my mother went for a year and then was married. my sisters went for two and are now getting married ( they are still both finishing their degree). it never hit me until that day that i am here to do this for real, to get this degree and change the world. I want to get married one day. i actually i am so excited for it, but there is a time and a place for everything and i don't know when that day will be, i know it is not right now and i love that, this is life as i know it, where i learn more about who i am everyday where i grow and struggle everyday, i have no clue where my life is headed i am a dirt poor college student with big dreams, this is my life, my world and i love every second of it.

Best days of your life

i am home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 and i love it i have loved every moment of it :):):):) while i was away i forgot that life in magna did not end just because i left. my family has been as busy as ever. my little brother is now a man, my older sisters are head over heels in love, my father is the worlds greatest stake president, and my mother is going to save this world but in the mean time her scrap booking business are thriving. i became so caught up in my own life that i failed to recognize that those i love most are learning and growing as well.
being home this last two weeks is exactly what i needed. i was reminded that no matter where i go or where i live ; hotel or dorms i will always have a home. i was reminded that i will make all the friends in the world but that Rachel Ann will always be my best friend. i recognized that i can search for love and acceptance but when i am ready to come home it will always be here. i had the best Christmas, but not because of the gifts i had received but because for the first time i understood what it meant to be a part of a family. i will never regret my decision to live on my own and attend college, these are the best years of my life, but i love knowing that i will always have a place to call home and people who love me for me.
this break has been such a blast. last week we meant with my extremely loud crazy extended family. i left the Reunion with a bowling ball from the white elephants and memory's of those i love. i watched Rachel perform with her school choir four times and realized dang my sister can dance!!!!!! i had an epic date with my cutie pie friend Kevin, the second i walked in the door my sister informed me just how hot he was!!!!! i know why else would i go on a date with him? ;) my mom, my sisters, and i went and saw the nutcracker; which i loved but holly crap that is a ton of dancing for three hours!!!!!! we spent Christmas eve with my much calmer extended family. it was a great night. Christmas day we woke up at four thirty (hey you are never to old to get excited about Christmas) Tia's boyfriend spent the night with our younger brother and Christmas morning with us. i must say the best Christmas gift award goes to Erick , he got me a poster of JUSTIN BEIBER!!! it was an amazing day spent with amazing people. (pictures will come soon)
i absolutely love my life, not because it is super easy or stress free, but because it is all mine. it's mine to mess up time and time again, refine and then mess up again, it's mine to learn and grow from and it is mine to make perfect and i wouldn't trade it for anything :):):):)

Big Truck

recently i had the opportunity to visit my best friend Tadja Potter in St. George. while i was there we watched the newest Kid history. in this episode randy has asked Santa for the newest and greatest toy. of course the toy now is extremely old and unheard of, but randy obsesses over the big truck.  the toy was meant to be a form of amusement, but for me it was much more than that. it was a dream others didn't understand, it was a goal, it was his childhood. it took me back to simpler days where life wasn't planned it just happened, you lived in the moment and you grew from it. 

recently i had a big truck that i waited for my whole life. i wouldn't accept just anyone's "big truck" i was waiting for the best biggest truck the world could offer. i wasn't going to throw this moment away. a boy appeared, not a man or a prince charming or even a knight in shinning armor, just a boy. he gave me his big truck and i gave him mine. the boy was wonderful and special but not the boy i was waiting for. we became great friends, but great friends don't exchange big trucks. . we didn't do anything wrong or harmful but i felt disgusted and disappointed. i didn't want to be the girl who would just kiss anyone ( yes that is what i am talking about)  but in the end that is exactly what happened, and while i did nothing wrong i can't shake this feeling of horror. but that is exactly where this sweet atonement comes in. this boy was wonderful in every way and i don't regret liking him, i regret giving and taking. i have a savior who knows exactly how i feel and knows and loves this young man as well. my savior died for me, for me Megyn Chantelle Rushton this young girl who messes up time and time again. he did it simply because he loves me, he did it with no guaranty that i would make it back into his loving arms, he did it for that slight chance that i might, two thousand years ago the worlds sweetest strongest women gave birth to a baby that didn't come to receive gifts from three wise man, rather he came to give the worlds greatest gift, himself. he brought the world a second chance. he loves us each individually more than we can ever know. he took away our pains and will continue to do so if we only ask. 

hello :):):):):):) well first off  MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! :):):):):) i absoullty love this season the colors, the lights, the chocolate, the shopping, Christmas parties, all of it!!!! its a little weird not being home to celebrate and i miss my family so much right now but i just love my life and were i am at, these are memories in the making.
college life is crazy, i love suu, most gorgeous campus ever and most gorgeous boys ever!!!! a while ago all the students who lived in juniper were relocated so now i live in a hotel away from my best est friend. i miss my old roommate  love the knew one but miss the old one. i miss juniper and how friendly it was, and all the friends i made but i am learning from the situation, i think it has matured us all and made us stronger individuals.
i love the singles ward or the talk-about-marriage-until-you-get-married ward ;)  its so spiritual and i never walk away without being touched by what someone said.
i started zumba classes and i love it!!! thank you Jennifer for making me go :):):) its defiantly a working process since i cant dance at all ( which was proven at our CA invitational when Mayo proved he could "drop it hotter" than me) but i love every second of it :):):):)
i love love love CA's. we are probably the best leadership group on campus!!!!! two weeks ago we went to anti-gravity and it was one of the funnest days of my life, i have made some friends for life :):):):)
so i just love life :):):):) it's not easy but it wouldn't be fun or worth living if i didn't have to work everyday. i am grateful for so much :):):):)

Life; there is nothing else to call it :):):)

life is busy, life is hard, it's messed up, it's crazy, unexpected and sometimes unfair, but in the end life is what you make it.
the president of our university explained "life is 10% percent what happens to us and 90% how we respond"
life happens, students get kicked out of there home and our forced to live in hotels, boys act like they like you then change your mind without telling you,super hot boys are gay,you fail tests, you fight with friends and then you move on.
the truth is bad things happen to good people who don't deserve it, people get hurt that doesn't mean god doe's not love us, it only means he wants us to learn from the choices we make and he wants to help our testimony's become stronger. when you cry he cries he still loves us, if i have learned one thing this week it has been that. my friend Jennifer explained that god is not going to give us anything we cannot handle, but we can handle a lot more thank we think we can, we are so much stronger than we know. no matter how hard life gets remember that someone has it worse than you. we could accomplish so much more if we focused on other people and not just ourselves.