Monday, February 27, 2012

love, what is this crazy disease?

what a weekend, what a life. :):):) this weekend was one of bestest friends Nicole's birthday. on Friday we had a surprise birthday party for her. some great friends traveled all the way down to cute old cedar city and on Saturday we traveled to Vegas. it was a great weekend. it was so good to see all of my dear friends again and have their influence in my life for a day. two of my friends tadja and Amanda are both waiting for missionary's, they are hopelessly in love, proud of the one they love and heart broken at their absence. i listened to both young women talk about the love of their lives with such emotion. what is this crazy disease? what is this emotion that causes so many people to go crazy, to search their whole lives for, to wait two whole years for loved ones to return only to pick back up were they left off? i see it in the movies, i hear the world create music and add lyrics trying to describe this wonderful/horrible thing. i listen to the scholarly try to explain it, i read authors descriptions of impossible love story's, and i complain with and to friends concerning the absence of such beauty in our lives. it surrounds me, i see it in everything i look at. in my psychology class we discussed the idea that we truly don't NEED anything save the essentials to live , water, food, shelter, and some would argue love. why do we need love? the world has turned such a beautiful thing ugly and then they make us believe we are incompetent because we do not own it. as i walked the streets of Vegas i wondered how such a thing could even exist. there was so much disrespect for women and for love. love became a toy and lust became an acceptable substitute. how did we become this way? how did we allow ourselves to become so confused so lost. for the first time i finally understood what it meant to be in the world and not of it. the world has distorted our view, the world would have us believe that love isn't beautiful that sex isn't sacred. i am so grateful for the home i grew up in. last weekend i had the opportunity to go home for my sisters wedding. it was so beautiful. i was truly touched. it was amazing to watch this young girl become a women, to see her sealed for time and all eternity to the man she loved. this is what love is. my oldest sister is also getting married this summer to a wonderful man. i watch the way he treats her, the respect he has for her and the love that is in his heart. i am reminded that i can't search for real love in the world because it won't be there. lust is not love; a man loving a women and helping her through her imperfections is love, a vase that is never without a yellow flower is love. i always wanted to believe that love is easy, that's how my parents made it seem. never once have a seen them argue i watch them kiss and hug everyday and i bet they exchange the words "i love you" twenty times a day. but love isn't easy, you have to work for it everyday, but i bet that's what makes it stronger. i have never been in love but i look forward to the day that i am. i have had such great examples of love in my life and i can't wait for the day that it does. just because i am not in love doesn't mean i am without love. i have such an amazing family that i can't even imagine living an eternity without, i have such amazing friends that i love dearly, but the greatest love in my life comes from my savior. a man who gave his life for me, a man who went through every horror the world can comprehend because he love me. i know i write about my savior a lot but its because i have never been more sure of anything in my life and i know that when the day comes that i finally get to be in love that my savior will be a huge factor in our lives and our love.