Sunday, January 20, 2013

A Life To Remember

I was going to start off by saying, what a crazy couple of weeks, but I realized that is just about how all of my posts start. I guess I just live one crazy life!
Well for those of you who may have missed the news My best friend since the premortal life is engaged! Her finance Parker is the sweetest, greatest, and most fantastic person. I could not have picked two individuals more perfect for one another. Tadja Potter has changed my life. I can honestly say I would not be the same person had she not blessed my life. When we were both younger I would come home from a weekend at her house, I would want to be cleaner and have more pink decorations just like her. I would want to take better care of my toys and clothes so they could be as nice as hers. However as I grew older and would return from her house I would still want to change to be just like her, but I wanted, I want, to be more spiritual  more involved in this wonderful gospel, more patient, more righteous, more like this amazing spirit god has blessed me with. I do not know what I did to be so lucky as to deserve a best friend like her, but I am grateful everyday that she has been here to influence my life. 
We spent the weekend wedding planning and dress shopping, as I sat on the train I had the startling realization that this is the last time it is ever going to be like this. Our lives are changing forever. while growing up we all made plans of our future lives that included each other. while we will always love each other and we will always be close, everything is going to change. Tadja potter is getting married MARRIED! I am headed off to who knows where to serve the lord for eighteen months and Nicole has her whole life ahead of her, if anyone is going to make a difference in this world it is going to be her. I have never meant another individual who feels so deeply, who loves so much, and who has such a tender heart. Our lives are changing and just as they should, our plans do not revolve around one another anymore. After this summer it is all going to change. It is exciting and scary all at the same time! sometimes when life gets stressful I like to think back to days spent in the sun playing dress up and eating Popsicle with tadja or nights spent at Nicole's house laughing and giggling for what felt like eternity. 
I hate change, it scares and excites me all at once. we spent our childhood planning these days, waiting non to patiently, to find our prince charming and running off into the sunset. Do not get me wrong i love my life, i have been so blessed and i could not be happier, but as I sit here living the exact moments we would dream about I cannot help but miss the memory of it all. 
Life is funny like that. We are never fully satisfied with where we are. I always want what I do not have. Last year at this time I wanted to be an RA more than anything, and now I want more than anything. I forget that although time is not money I can waste it and blow it, just like money, on trivial shallow experiences. I want my life to be something remembered. I want more than anything to make a difference, I want someone to hear my name and smile. 
My goal today is to make a difference, to make a memory.