Eleven days!!!! 11 days!!! In eleven days I will be sitting in our cute family mini van driving away for the MTC to serve the lord for eighteen months. The closer it gets the more intense my emotions become. I am scared, excited, nervous, anxious, sad, and extremely happy!!! I am afraid of what I will miss. I am afraid of not hearing my parents voice for eighteen months except at Christmas and on mothers day. I am afraid of missing Aryn's wedding. I am afraid of missing Tyson's first prom. I am afraid of missing Jennifer growing into a women, I am afraid of not being home when Rachel comes home from college for her first time and witnessing how much she has changed. I am afraid of not being here when my first niece or nephew enters the world ( neither Tia or Brittney are pregnant do not get excited) I am afraid of missing Nicholle's graduation, I am afraid of not being at school and not being able to build more memories with Brittney, Kaley, or Patrick. I am afraid of missing Tadja and Parker, what if they have a baby while I am gone??? I am afraid of missing my bossom friend Nicole . For two years she has been the very person I tell everything to, I can't describe how frightened I am of not having her with me everyday.
At times all of these fears and many others become so overwhelming I almost pull the plug on the whole thing. I am not strong enough to live in a strange humid place where I don' know anyone one for a year and a half. To say I am afraid is an understatement.
" The lord commanded Nephi to go an build a boat" I have been asked to build a boat. Many could say it was my choice and I do not have to go. They are correct it is my choice and I don't have to go. However I have felt the lord ask me to serve and I have heard his promise that I would be blessed for my efforts and service. I am afraid of this boat I have been asked to build, I am however more than anything else excited. I am excited and thrilled to live in a strange humid place with people I don't know. I am ecstatic to work the hardest I have ever worked. I am so beyond excited to live closer to the lord then I ever have and witness first hand his countless miracles as he blesses the people of Virginia. I am not strong enough to take on this adventure on my own. However with my father in heaven and my savior I am strong enough to conquer the world. With them I can build any boat and take on any adventure.
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